Time flew somewhere

I don't know where. I guess I had a lot of fun, because time has done left me behind. It left me some parting gifts- grey hair, herniated discs, degenerate joints. I must have had a lot of fun. A lot. because time flew.

I guess there's more. But it flies faster now...much, much, much faster. And the parting gifts are not as nice. I like it. I want time to fly so fast that time travel becomes possible-like when Superman flew around the Earth so fast he went back in time to save Lois Lane and humanity. I want to have so much fun taht eventually- I ride like I used to.
 It's possible.
 Really.
Today at one point I just did it. I set up, set my pedals and stepped forward into the trick. I didn't think about it, I just did it. Like I did Twenty years ago, Ten years ago even...Felt unreal. felt unnatural-I didn't step gingerly on the peg and carefully torque around the bar. I just did it. Didn't pull it completely, but that is not the point. The point is, I was having so much fun I regressed just a little to a more confident time.  I breathed a little more and went spot hunting-I rode around- I bunnyhopped over an imaginary block. wait...not the broomstick? Nope, a block. Felt like a bunnyhop this time, not a back-injured-old-guy-Americas-funniest-video-waiting-to-happen-hop. You know the one? Embarrassing dad on his kids bike? Nope, legit where is the ledge hop.
Whoa...hooray me, that was rad
 no. no, no, no, NO.
That was regression. That was me finding my skin, not riding a tiny bike trying to relive my youth-just muscles waking up that maybe haven't fired in a while. Good Morning

If I roll fast enough against the rotation of my current direction...what's gonna happen?
You know what I'm sayin?

Lists

Monday: Sprint, rotator cuff workout, chip and putt
Tuesday: Off day
Wednesday: Power threshhold intervals, under 2200 cal, Cages

Lite version of the lists I used to make for training. For Racing. To be the fastest club rider. For Baseball. For Golf. For Baseball cards. For Breakfast. For Bugout kits. For pissing.
For everything. A List. A Plan. A Process. A Structure. A level of Expectation.

Except BMX

Well.
Street, really. For Flat I always had a list of tricks to learn, and order they should be learned and a level of accomplishment that needed to be met. Street-I just went out and jumped over or off of stuff...simply put. Riding last night, I didn't have an agenda. I went out and rode my bike. Looked for spots. Looked for flat ground in Whitier, CA. (none exists). I looked for cops-just wanted to see if they noticed the geezer on his kids bike or not. (they didn't). Looked for sketchy dudes who wanna jak this foo...(eh, not really, but kindof).
I just rode my bike around, bunnyhopped imaginary obstacles in the street. Did some tailwhips and fork glides (per my list) in a parking lot. Listened to music. Flowed-or closer to flow than I have done in a minute. It was over quick, I still have an 80 year old skeletal system (Degenerative Joint Disorder)-so the little hops and bails got to me a bit faster tonight. But that's OK.

That is certainly OK. I got a bit more in touch with my bike. For Flat, I'm still not sold. (full disclosure-I really want my Reklamation, so I may be rationalizing a bit). But for street, The Soundwave is awesome. Flows like a kayak underneath me in a swirly chaotic river of imaginary, really small eddies and whirls. But it is my river, and it is fun as I wan't it to be. I don't mind wearing water wings right now,Nor do I care who sees me with them on- I'm sure I am not swimming yet.

Tonight back to the list. Fork glide, Fire-hydrant, Whiplash, Steamroller...etc....Basics that I need to practice in order to regress. I will be checking them off of my list in due time. But every once in a while I need to put the list down, and jump over the broomstick on the pavement. or bombdrop the curb. That is why I never took BMX off of the shelf and put it into the bin. It gets me away from the lists. From the schedule. From the Plan. BMX lets me just go.
Yes.

Definitely on my list for today.
Charge Music player-Check
Have gallons of Coffee-Check
Work on list of tricks to practice tonight-check.
Don't make a list, just ride.-er...I confused myself...damn you irony! Time to go to work.-Check

Theater for therapy

It struck me as odd that I write this. I remember as a theater major, going to see show and seeing all of the droning monologues in which the performer would go on and on about how they weren't loved, or lost a lover or were confused about who they were. It seemed every "playwrite" would ignore the obvious fact that the world needed to be entertained, and simply vomit whiny dreck on the rest of us. I stopped going to these "theater for therapy" sessions because I am not a therapist...I just wanted to meet some theater girls. 

Soo...

That being said,I did not intend this to be a "blog for therapy" more of a exercise in writing, possibly interesting to others, and jump start to my riding and writing.

Don't let the first few posts fool you, only moderate upheaval of whiny dreck will follow. 

I believe once I get rolling (hah) i'll find a way to entertain the audience...maybe not. If you came here looking for theater girls...sorry. 

Prove

It was definitely hard to stay up to ride today...Have I mentioned I'm old-trained in Roadie ways..get up at 6am to ride, cocktail and sleep by 9?...Forced myself to stay up for it today. First time I have actually made it a point to do it in years.
It shouldn't be that way.
Ever.
But it is.
9-5. work. 6-9.cook, clean, homework. stories, hugs and kisses. get back in bed. no, there are no monsters-I assure you. Get out of bed again and I am waaaay scarier than any monster...etc..
10:30 cocktail and IonTV..criminal minds is on. sleep.
Damn...I forgot to ride
I'll ride tomorrow. and I will not stop until I pull a clean whip to backyard....whatever it is...yeah-- yeah BMX or die...
9-5. work. 6-9.cook, clean, dinner, homework. stories, hugs and kisses. get back in bed. no,.I'm sorry you have a tummy ache-next time when I say no candy I mean no candy-go to bed
10:30 cocktail and IonTV..criminal minds is on. sleep.
Damn...I forgot to ride
I'll...nevermind.
Years go by.
It is that way. Not a bad thing. Just how it is. Sorry twenty-somethings, this is you in ten years, if you keep your BMX soul.
That is the difference. I kept mine. I kept it on a shelf. Why did I shelve it? Not sure, awkward pause...but I want to get it back down now. To put it in language some of you might get-IDGAF.
IDGAF.
How much seatpost I have
How big I am
How old I am
How much I suck now
How Old-School I am 
If I use Brakes..
If I don't
If you really believe I am a rider or not

Here Is my advise for twenty something BMX'rs right now. Ride. Eventually-stop, have a family, a career, a puppy, a techno house party extravaganza extra dubified zombie spartan marathon running life.
Keep BMX in your head. You will come back to it. It is your Family. Your marathon. Your puppy.
and when you come back to it-remember to PROVE NOTHING

Prove it. I felt forever that I had to prove myself to my peers, my Co-Workers, my friends. So I didn't ride- I let BMX go. and now I can't bunny hop, or do a dork wheelie...yeah, yeah- I have some spinal issues...etc....that has been a legit setback, but an easy excuse, too.
I let it go, and now I can't back up my expectations of me. So I don't go ride.
No sorry fellas, I can't make it-my knee or back or hangnail...you know how it is....
Prove it.
Well, It took me a minute to realize that I need to prove nothing to anyone. I need to ride. BMX is my life. has always been, will be 'til I can't push the wheelchair. Frankly-those of you who discount me because I don't fit the uniform, or the slammed seatpost, or the huge over tooth to barspin...who are you again?. I don't need to prove myself to you. Tim, Matt, Eric, Dan, Tracy, Dave, Chris-You guys are all OG's. You know who you are. We proved it already-some of you are still proving it-So why do I feel the need to impress the industry I work in? I shaped the industry twenty five years ago, gapping stairsets and sprocket grinds the St. Greg's vent/grate thing-so much fun, how it is supposed to be....We have already proved it-So if you are in the same world as me, just get back on your bike-DGAF what anyone thinks is cool. Just ride-Maybe you find "new school" is your thing, or maybe you stick to Miami-Hoppers and Fastplants, awesome...Tonight I rode really poorly for two hours. It was like old times.Really.

Oh snap...Criminal Minds is on...gotta go.

Bike

Obligatory Bike Check? Sure..why not...
It's just a big "freestyle" bike..not a flatland bike, or a street bike, or a park bike...
I just ride, whatever.

I'm 6'4"-Gotta be a big bike...Still playing with tires, have separate wheels I could ride for street if I feel I need to-I shouldn't, but I kinna do, I like the bigger tires..we shall see. Follow along in the home game.
Nightime pics to enhance zombieness...
oooohhh...scary


Frame: Sunday Soundwave 21" Zombiefied
Fork: Sunday Night 2.1

Bar: Quest BMX Miyagi Bar
Stem: Odyssey Elementary V3
Heasdest: Odyssey
Grips: Odyssey Cufflinks
Gyro: Odyssey GTX
Brake Levers: Odyssey M2 Right, Monolever Left
Brakes: Odyssey Evo 2
Seapost: Odyssey Intac
Seat: Aitken nightwolf...respect
Cranks: Odyssey Thunderbolt 175 RHD
Bottom Bracket: Odyssey 22mm
Sprocket: Sunday Sabertooth 25t
Pedals: Odyssey Twisted PC
Chain: Odyssey Bluebird
Tires: Odyssey Freq G 1.85
Rims: Odyssey Aerospace
Hub F: Odyssey Vandero2
Hub R: Infinity Flowcoaster
Spokes: Odyssey 4x
Front Pegs: Quest Meta-Guru
Rear Pegs: Left Odyssey Steel Rifle, Right Quest Guru stix (in case I feel like throwin' in a feeble...)

Street wheels-Odyssey Aerospace rims, Antigram Hubs, Steel Rifle pegs, Aitken 2.25 K-lytes.

Boom.

Yep, sure is a lot of seatpost...haters gonna hate...

Little bubble

Let's get small...I mean really small...Now look up.
Whoa-the world is huge, right?
That's what I thought, too.
Don't worry though-We can be big now. Hmm...I feel like I'm overlooking everything when I'm this Big.
Well.
That is kinda the point....We get big and everything gets small. Everything? Unfortunately, yes.
 wait...even my....Stop there.
Regression to third grade anatomy jokes, halted. (for now). What then?
My Friend list? Smaller.
My iPod Playlist? Smaller
My TV show selection? Smaller
My Pants? Smaller (hahahahahah..third grade again)
My Hour in the day? Smaller
My energy? Smaller
My World? Smaller
My Bike? Bigger...but Smaller...more on that later.

Am I saying I am unhappy? Hell No. I wouldn't trade anything...I love my Wife. I love My kids. I have a dream job that I will learn to love.

What am I saying then? Hmmmmm. I wanna be small. I want to look up and see the world as huge again. I want to get on my bike and see the endless possibility in a flat parking lot. I want to cruise around and jump curbs because they look huge. You see, Right now I'm big. I dress like a twenty year old, but I assure you I'm 40. I have grey hair. I take heart medicine. I wear glasses to read. I have spinal issues that make your gramma look like a member of cirque. I limit my cookies, because well-I get fat(ter). I go to work, I come home, I do the housework/Dad stuff, I grab a drink watch some Law and Order and I go to sleep waiting for it to happen again tomorrow. Big happened. And I let it. I got a Suit. I got a high end Italian Road Bike. I shaved my legs. I bought High end spandex because the videography made me want to look down on people ...From a mountain on a climb in a country I will never go to. Now-truth be told, the Big bike took me places, made me more spiritual, probably saved my life, helped me find God. But it also took me away from my community (BMX), my friends (riders), my lust for riding (tiny bikes). The big bike made my cycling world small, narrow and devoid of human interaction-because honestly, most roadies are clique-ish.  Big is not bad, Big is just not me.

I think small holds something for me. I don't know what that is, yet.
My Friend list? BMX is community
My iPod Playlist? Music that has the soul of BMX pumping through it.
My TV show Selection? I hate TV anyways
My Pants? The same, But with cooler belts
My Hour in the day? Mine to use, not to waste
My Energy? Electric
My World? Bigger and out of my comfort zone
My Bike? Smaller.

So what am I babbling about? Well, I'm going to start riding again, with a purpose. I need to force the time into my life. I work for a BMX company-should be mandatory to ride, daily...And I am going to try to make that happen. Why the Blog? Why not? Maybe another 40 something sees it and feels the same way. maybe something I see, or post, or accomplish inspires that person to take a pedal. There are countless riders over 40 that have done that for me, all will be mentioned in due time. If anything, it is a way for me to communicate with myself, to get inside my head, to get small.