Prove

It was definitely hard to stay up to ride today...Have I mentioned I'm old-trained in Roadie ways..get up at 6am to ride, cocktail and sleep by 9?...Forced myself to stay up for it today. First time I have actually made it a point to do it in years.
It shouldn't be that way.
Ever.
But it is.
9-5. work. 6-9.cook, clean, homework. stories, hugs and kisses. get back in bed. no, there are no monsters-I assure you. Get out of bed again and I am waaaay scarier than any monster...etc..
10:30 cocktail and IonTV..criminal minds is on. sleep.
Damn...I forgot to ride
I'll ride tomorrow. and I will not stop until I pull a clean whip to backyard....whatever it is...yeah-- yeah BMX or die...
9-5. work. 6-9.cook, clean, dinner, homework. stories, hugs and kisses. get back in bed. no,.I'm sorry you have a tummy ache-next time when I say no candy I mean no candy-go to bed
10:30 cocktail and IonTV..criminal minds is on. sleep.
Damn...I forgot to ride
I'll...nevermind.
Years go by.
It is that way. Not a bad thing. Just how it is. Sorry twenty-somethings, this is you in ten years, if you keep your BMX soul.
That is the difference. I kept mine. I kept it on a shelf. Why did I shelve it? Not sure, awkward pause...but I want to get it back down now. To put it in language some of you might get-IDGAF.
IDGAF.
How much seatpost I have
How big I am
How old I am
How much I suck now
How Old-School I am 
If I use Brakes..
If I don't
If you really believe I am a rider or not

Here Is my advise for twenty something BMX'rs right now. Ride. Eventually-stop, have a family, a career, a puppy, a techno house party extravaganza extra dubified zombie spartan marathon running life.
Keep BMX in your head. You will come back to it. It is your Family. Your marathon. Your puppy.
and when you come back to it-remember to PROVE NOTHING

Prove it. I felt forever that I had to prove myself to my peers, my Co-Workers, my friends. So I didn't ride- I let BMX go. and now I can't bunny hop, or do a dork wheelie...yeah, yeah- I have some spinal issues...etc....that has been a legit setback, but an easy excuse, too.
I let it go, and now I can't back up my expectations of me. So I don't go ride.
No sorry fellas, I can't make it-my knee or back or hangnail...you know how it is....
Prove it.
Well, It took me a minute to realize that I need to prove nothing to anyone. I need to ride. BMX is my life. has always been, will be 'til I can't push the wheelchair. Frankly-those of you who discount me because I don't fit the uniform, or the slammed seatpost, or the huge over tooth to barspin...who are you again?. I don't need to prove myself to you. Tim, Matt, Eric, Dan, Tracy, Dave, Chris-You guys are all OG's. You know who you are. We proved it already-some of you are still proving it-So why do I feel the need to impress the industry I work in? I shaped the industry twenty five years ago, gapping stairsets and sprocket grinds the St. Greg's vent/grate thing-so much fun, how it is supposed to be....We have already proved it-So if you are in the same world as me, just get back on your bike-DGAF what anyone thinks is cool. Just ride-Maybe you find "new school" is your thing, or maybe you stick to Miami-Hoppers and Fastplants, awesome...Tonight I rode really poorly for two hours. It was like old times.Really.

Oh snap...Criminal Minds is on...gotta go.

Bike

Obligatory Bike Check? Sure..why not...
It's just a big "freestyle" bike..not a flatland bike, or a street bike, or a park bike...
I just ride, whatever.

I'm 6'4"-Gotta be a big bike...Still playing with tires, have separate wheels I could ride for street if I feel I need to-I shouldn't, but I kinna do, I like the bigger tires..we shall see. Follow along in the home game.
Nightime pics to enhance zombieness...
oooohhh...scary


Frame: Sunday Soundwave 21" Zombiefied
Fork: Sunday Night 2.1

Bar: Quest BMX Miyagi Bar
Stem: Odyssey Elementary V3
Heasdest: Odyssey
Grips: Odyssey Cufflinks
Gyro: Odyssey GTX
Brake Levers: Odyssey M2 Right, Monolever Left
Brakes: Odyssey Evo 2
Seapost: Odyssey Intac
Seat: Aitken nightwolf...respect
Cranks: Odyssey Thunderbolt 175 RHD
Bottom Bracket: Odyssey 22mm
Sprocket: Sunday Sabertooth 25t
Pedals: Odyssey Twisted PC
Chain: Odyssey Bluebird
Tires: Odyssey Freq G 1.85
Rims: Odyssey Aerospace
Hub F: Odyssey Vandero2
Hub R: Infinity Flowcoaster
Spokes: Odyssey 4x
Front Pegs: Quest Meta-Guru
Rear Pegs: Left Odyssey Steel Rifle, Right Quest Guru stix (in case I feel like throwin' in a feeble...)

Street wheels-Odyssey Aerospace rims, Antigram Hubs, Steel Rifle pegs, Aitken 2.25 K-lytes.

Boom.

Yep, sure is a lot of seatpost...haters gonna hate...

Little bubble

Let's get small...I mean really small...Now look up.
Whoa-the world is huge, right?
That's what I thought, too.
Don't worry though-We can be big now. Hmm...I feel like I'm overlooking everything when I'm this Big.
Well.
That is kinda the point....We get big and everything gets small. Everything? Unfortunately, yes.
 wait...even my....Stop there.
Regression to third grade anatomy jokes, halted. (for now). What then?
My Friend list? Smaller.
My iPod Playlist? Smaller
My TV show selection? Smaller
My Pants? Smaller (hahahahahah..third grade again)
My Hour in the day? Smaller
My energy? Smaller
My World? Smaller
My Bike? Bigger...but Smaller...more on that later.

Am I saying I am unhappy? Hell No. I wouldn't trade anything...I love my Wife. I love My kids. I have a dream job that I will learn to love.

What am I saying then? Hmmmmm. I wanna be small. I want to look up and see the world as huge again. I want to get on my bike and see the endless possibility in a flat parking lot. I want to cruise around and jump curbs because they look huge. You see, Right now I'm big. I dress like a twenty year old, but I assure you I'm 40. I have grey hair. I take heart medicine. I wear glasses to read. I have spinal issues that make your gramma look like a member of cirque. I limit my cookies, because well-I get fat(ter). I go to work, I come home, I do the housework/Dad stuff, I grab a drink watch some Law and Order and I go to sleep waiting for it to happen again tomorrow. Big happened. And I let it. I got a Suit. I got a high end Italian Road Bike. I shaved my legs. I bought High end spandex because the videography made me want to look down on people ...From a mountain on a climb in a country I will never go to. Now-truth be told, the Big bike took me places, made me more spiritual, probably saved my life, helped me find God. But it also took me away from my community (BMX), my friends (riders), my lust for riding (tiny bikes). The big bike made my cycling world small, narrow and devoid of human interaction-because honestly, most roadies are clique-ish.  Big is not bad, Big is just not me.

I think small holds something for me. I don't know what that is, yet.
My Friend list? BMX is community
My iPod Playlist? Music that has the soul of BMX pumping through it.
My TV show Selection? I hate TV anyways
My Pants? The same, But with cooler belts
My Hour in the day? Mine to use, not to waste
My Energy? Electric
My World? Bigger and out of my comfort zone
My Bike? Smaller.

So what am I babbling about? Well, I'm going to start riding again, with a purpose. I need to force the time into my life. I work for a BMX company-should be mandatory to ride, daily...And I am going to try to make that happen. Why the Blog? Why not? Maybe another 40 something sees it and feels the same way. maybe something I see, or post, or accomplish inspires that person to take a pedal. There are countless riders over 40 that have done that for me, all will be mentioned in due time. If anything, it is a way for me to communicate with myself, to get inside my head, to get small.